Moody Girl's Guide: What Not To Do to Sustain a Below Average Relationship

Step 1 – Be ready when he's ready, or he’s leaving without you. Nothing shows how   important you are than hurrying you up regardless of your busy schedule, it’s his valuable time over yours.

Step 2 – Don't dress to impress – less is less. Before your Friday date night, he says, “Be casual, a pony tail with no make up and workout clothes will do”.

Step 3 – Don't ask where your relationship is going, even if a double digit anniversary is coming up. There’s never a right time to bring this up, and so what, if at this point the years are blending together. 

Step 4 – Don't suggest he get a car wash even though a bird did its business right as you  were getting into the car with your fancy dress, and your side of the windshield is covered in bird poop! 

Step 5 – Do not order alcohol, unless you're prepared to pay for it yourself. Translation: Tap water has zero calories and is zero dollars. 

Step 6 – Stay cool and don't get upset when he is talking to an attractive gallery attendant  for 30 minutes, oblivious to your eye rolling or coughing hints as you start to walk   backwards towards the door. Also applies to: Waitress, bartender, coat check girl, bouncer, janitorial staff, and any random person who crosses your path during date day/night).

Step 7– Get over the lack of attention when he's on his cell phone and doesn't greet you properly, even when you signal to your watch when it's past 20 minutes, and dinner is now cold. 

Step 8 – Don't seem bored when he feels the need to bombard you with tragic world events and depressing local news en route to dinner during date night. Translation: Talk about anything and everything but you.

Step 9 – Do not assume that being a long term girlfriend means that you can ask for a short term loan ($20 for a quick run to the grocery store or $200 for a new tire). Tough love tip: "Get 2 jobs, 3 if you have to". 

Step 10 – He passionately says, "Don't spend a dime on my birthday gift, save your money, you have bills to pay". Then sulks when he's presented an original poem written by you, and a home made gift certificate for endless hugs and kisses. Fast forward to your birthday when you receive a card, with more  words of  wisdom "Bike, run, walk, live life, work hard, be happy you're alive."

More fun tips to come....enough said!

Moody Girl Out.