Dark Days, Sour Face

It seems like I'm always complaining about the weather, but really the weather has sucked lately. I'm sensitive to many things, extreme weather of course is never a good thing. I seem to be touchy to everything these days, such as, gloomy, cold days, (adds to the moodiness), bright sunny days, if it's too hot (I get tanned sitting by the window). Heavy rain (not good for my hair), humidity (even worse for my hair). Crazy windy weather (even worse than humidity for my hair). Well you get my drift. October hasn't been it's usual pleasant Indian summer weather, apart from a few random days of perfect weather it's generally been dark, rainy, cold, extremely depressing weather.  The howling winds outside my window seem to be echoing my inner screams.

The days are fading into each other and I have no concept of time and space, er, until I look at a calendar or a clock of course. Numbness consumes me, apart from the ringing sound in my head that seems to go off in the middle of the night and jolts me back to reality, plus there's the lunatic who lives above me that drives me crazy with his stomping around at 4 am. It's almost November and I still haven't found a new full time job :( Panic mode is in full effect upon the realization that time's up and there are no more life lines. My White Knight (from the previous blog) turned into Flight Knight! After weeks of chasing M to follow up with his contact at C_____C, my emails were evaded until last Saturday, when I received a polite email saying that his contact informed him that the position had been filled with someone internally, and for me to keep trying.  What the hell? I didn't even get to wear my best interview outfit as there was no interview. What kind of contact is that! Thanks a lot for your help Flight Knight! I know he tried his best, after all he is sleep deprived, working long hours, has a demanding wife and a brand new baby, but what about me? :0

I mean Halloween is around the corner, and after that the focus is on the holiday season. It's been a never ending parade of birthday celebrations this month, and will continue in November. It's not a good feeling when I can't even muster up enough energy (mental or physical) to socialize with my friends. I feel bad, because I don't want to be that person who bows out with a flimsy excuse like on Thalia's birthday dinner. (I won't mention any names, you know who you are - Shabana). Okay the real truth is that driving has become ridiculous in this city, you can't get anywhere in less than 1.5 hour and that's one way on a good day. So you throw in the bizarre weather patterns and accident prone drivers, and then you're forced to add on even more time to the commute, which is maddening! So you take 4+ hours out of your day (coming and going) for a couple of hours of dinner - please! Oh, let's not forget  where to eat, where to park, what to wear, who's gonna pay? What? Where? Wear? "Lions and tigers and bears oh my". Evidently, I'm The Scarecrow, Tin Man, The Lion and Dorothy all wrapped up in one.

No surprise, I'm feeling insular these days and rarely venture out unless I absolutely have to (groceries). I'm wearing the same thing over and over again because it's "comfortable" and provides a good disguise while I drown my sorrows in an overload of carbs and simultaneously avoid the scale. I still haven't brought out my fall/winter wardrobe out yet. I'm still stuck in summer mode mentally. I can't believe that it's the middle of October already! My life seems suspended in time (and funds), which is sort of ironic as time is flying by too quickly and the bills keep on coming. As one of my mum's favourite proverbs goes, "Time and tide waits for no one". Ain't that the damn truth!

Sour Face Moody Girl Out.